If anyone else has been having many sleepless nights wondering what Nicki Clyne and LOL Cats have in common, then I think I have the answer:







I rest my case.

Just about two weeks away from the two year anniversary of my mother's death and I still want to rip the throat out of people who try to force their ridiculous fantasies about a kind and loving god onto me.

I'm not going to be around much at all for the next few weeks, the way things are looking. I'm starting a work placement (aka slavery) in the far flung reaches of Lochwinnoch. Without going into the minutes of what my days will be like, I'll have very little time during the week (I'll be getting home less than three hours of when I should be going to sleep for the next day - oh for the energy of youth once more!). I'll try and keep it up for at least 1 - 2 weeks and see if I want to stick it out longer (suffice to say in a actual job I'd want slightly less hours and a far more convenient and closer at hand location with better travel links). I'll also be pretty broke (or "skint" for people who live in the same country as me and speak the same language *g*) as the weekly train ticket will be about 24 pounds (I'll get twenty of that back per week for expenses but I'll have to have the money for three weeks running before that happens - great system: get the unemployed person to have to hold back half his fortnightly giro payment for travel!).

On top of all that, my Paris Hilton For Men cologne is almost gone and I'm down to a small 30ml bottle of Just Me For Men by Paris Hilton. Clearly I'm made to suffer!

Week 8 of 13 was pretty stressful. One particular person there had me pulling my hair out, especially when he tried pushing his beliefs in christianity onto me no matter how clearly and forcefully I told him I wasn't interested and found such things offensive to me. He's not quite the full shilling but still (and the guy in charge is into all that spirituality stuff with crystals and astral projection)! Oh for the company of Richard Dawkins for even just five minutes. I did have an ally though in another guy, John, who likes a lot of the punk bands I'm into, lets me listen to his I-Pod, shares the same rationalist outlook on religion and is always talking to me about Playstation 3 games and giving me advice on what to look out for.

Which brings me to the happier news (and another reason for money being very tight). I'm going to be in debt to myself for a while, but I ordered a Playstation 3 a week ago from Amazon. I haven't had a games console since my second Dreamcast stopped playing games properly and most modern games won't launch on my computer even after being successfully installed (there's always some problem even if a previous one is sorted out). Still waiting on the actual console but I can't complain as the cheques haven't actually cashed yet. Alas if I could have had it now and gotten time to get to grips with it, instead of it probably coming during the week when I'll barely have time to look at it in my couple of hours of own life each night. The games I ordered have come already - Assassin's Creed and Grand Theft Auto IV (aka GTA 4). In addition I bought the Game Of The Year edition of Oblivion (which sounds like the best game ever from what I've heard) and the thick tome official game guide to it, as well as a Dual Shock 3 controller with rumble (I still have fond memories of playing Resident Evil: Code Veronica with the rumble pack on my old Dreamcast). Anyway, at least for a little while at night and the weekends (when it eventually arrives) I'll be able to take out my frustrations and rage without actually getting arrested *g* I take whatever relief I can get.

And in the other highlight of a pretty frustrating week, I'll leave you with the cover of this week's Scottish Recruitment jobs paper from Wednesday:



Didn't actually find any worthwhile jobs in it though, but it was at least a welcome distraction in my day at the evil STF and gave me something else to think about (er... *ahem*). Amusement for the week was provided by noticing on some list of names and numbers "SID Phyllis" and wondering if it was a joke (say it fast and see what word it turns into *g*)

Poll #2006
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

Who Do You Like Better?

Good news of the week of course, is that a near complete print of Metropolis has finally been found (never been seen since the Berlin premiere from what I recall). Supposedly all that's missing is one cathedral sequence which there is supposedly also a lead on. Fritz Lang once responded to someone's gushing about Metropolis by asking "Why are you talking about a film that doesn't exist?". Well finally after all this time, it looks like just might well exist in the form he intended after all. I love the restoration (with the music originally written for the film and performed on it's premiere) done a few years back and chances were that that was as complete as the film was ever likely to get (with almost 25 minutes of footage missing). I look forward to the newly recovered footage being available on DVD. Metropolis is the greatest sci-fi movie of all time in my opinion, bar none (and one of my all time favourite movies). Amazing isn't quite the word for it's spectacle.

As to my life, well I'm often too tired or don't have enough time to really bother with the internet or anything else, much less update about it, during the week. I could rant here about a certain bloody woman at the Scottish Training Foundation and all her faults and crimes against humanity, but why bother at the weekend when I'm trying to enjoy my temporary respite! I could mention the waste of time it was, getting prepared and dressed for a potential job interview that instead turned out to be a mere placement with the chance of a lowly paying job at the end that probably wouldn't cover my travel and prescription expenses if I were to survive the placement period and take it. I could also talk about some of the silly rules they have at this meat for the grinder placement. But *meh*

So how was the Doctor Who series four finale then? Well, I'm still trying to sort out my mixed feelings about it *g* I think I enjoyed it and may even come to love it in the future. But there are plenty of criticisms that could be levelled at it, and at the moment I could certainly be at the very least sympathetic to many of them. I think I liked it though (certainly didn't leave me with any desire to never see it again or anything) and I already know I liked it better than the worst episodes of the revived series so far *cough*Voyage Of The Damned*cough* Nice to have a trailer for the Paris-mas Special at the end. Already knew some of the reports about the plot, but it was good to see it confirmed.

For more detailed thoughts and SPOILERS then read on....

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Don't get much time to watch stuff during the week, but I've been making up for lost time over the weekend:

DVDs:

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Well first off, here's a fact about tonight's Doctor Who 4.12 "The Stolen Earth" that isn't a spoiler but a pretty reasonable prediction: The forums are going to go into meltdown! It could even last days!

The rest are big dripping blood redSPOILERS so be warned and don't cry afterwards (and if you haven't seen it yet - DO!):

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Argh! How can you just sit there and stand it like that?

The build up and the constant waiting is like a beating drum in my head.

Only a few hours to go until tonight's Doctor Who and the long awaited return of Davros (and hopefully the Daleks done much more properly than their last outing "Invasion Of The Clap-Traps" hee hee).

There's a cool trailer with Davros in it (they've really done a great job in capturing the classic voice) on the official BBC website but there's also a nice exclusive scene which is pretty effective too in drumming up the suspense (UK viewers only sadly). ( Read more... )

It's all building up to be quite dramatic, tense and sinister (the way I like it). I almost feared that RTD would have Davros spinning in his chair to some song with disco lights flashing, but it really seems that he's reined that sort of thing in for this iconic villain at least.

And in other news: The Doctor Who Forum finally has a club for lovers of Lynda with a Y :D :D :D And of course I joined :D :D :D And was accepted :D :D :D Such a shame that Jo Joyner who was brilliant in the nurses show No Angels has sold her soul to being stuck on bloody Eastenders when she should have been going on to more great things and acting opportunities instead.

Anyway... "Exterminate... Exterminate... Exterminate... Exterminate... Exterminate..."

From the press release at: http://www.primenewswire.com/newsroom/news.html?d=145423

"Paris Hilton Makes Gift to the New Hospital Building At Childrens Hospital Los Angeles
Her Generosity Will be Directed to the Childrens Center for Cancer and Blood Diseases in the New Hospital Building Now Under Construction

LOS ANGELES, June 26, 2008 (PRIME NEWSWIRE) -- Paris Hilton has made an extremely generous personal gift to support the construction of the New Hospital Building at Childrens Hospital Los Angeles "...to benefit the children and families of Greater Los Angeles for decades," according to the hospital.

Her generosity will be directed toward the New Hospital Building Campaign at Childrens Hospital Los Angeles for construction of the new space for children being treated at the Childrens Center for Cancer and Blood Diseases in the New Hospital Building.

Ms. Hilton has toured the Childrens Center for Cancer and Blood Diseases and has involved herself with Childrens Hospital in a number of other ways. Ms. Hilton's generosity will name a double patient room on the floor in the New Hospital Building that will house the Childrens Center for Cancer and Blood Diseases and its inpatient facilities.

"I am so happy and fortunate to announce my support for Childrens Hospital Los Angeles," she said. "The children I have met through my involvement with Childrens Hospital have truly touched my heart.

"These fabulous new hospital facilities at Childrens Hospital Los Angeles will provide a caring, healing environment for children and their families for many years to come, and I am proud to make a donation and lend my name to the fundraising effort to help children who are facing terribly serious illness." "

Needless to say, most of the biased media and public out there are likely to ignore or be unaware of this, while fake stories from biased unreliable sources about Paris "throwing a tantrum" in pet stores are likely to run and run for months across millions of news and gossip sites... like a disease.

Last night I was very tired and couldn't be bothered doing anything. I've been pretty much all used up, depressed and defeated by the machinations of day to day existence at the Scottish Training Foundation. I would have just went to bed early. But Shareen and Paris made me listen to The Stranglers' No More Heroes album and Megadeth's Peace Sells... But Who's Buying? album and drink another beer before that happened.

I think I should bloody well buy my confused computer a dictionary! I've lost count of how rich I'd be for the amount of times it claims to be "Done" when it's idly stayed on the same internet page, instead of doing what I clicked for. Idiot!

The way my father has a tendency to mumble to himself while going about his business, makes me wonder if he might have some Jawas in his ancestry, but I'd feel too awkward about asking.

And the real reason for the post, here's some of my favourite Paris Hilton photos of this week:



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What I'd give to be the person Paris is looking at so lovingly in that last one! Lucky man, Benji!

.... listening to The Velvet Underground & Nico album on a easy summer's afternoon:

"I'm home!"

It's funny how intrinisically linked that music and it's related docu-imagery/knowledge is with memories and associations of my own life and the days when a theatre arts amatuer group was my own personal version of The Factory. Almost like it was exactly the same thing.

I'd forgotten what a shocking expose of an uncaring society and the modern world that A Clockwork Orange was. Take the scene where a woman hears a young man at her door, telling her there's been an accident down the road, his friend's been hurt badly and he needs to use a phone to call an ambulance. And the woman just refuses to help him, directing him to a further away pub for assistance. What a shockingly callous and uncaring world!

On penicillin capsules for my chest infection. I hope that clears it up as this has been my fourth out of five sick days used up and I was as bad as ever yesterday. Finished reading L.A. Confidential and started the first of the Dexter novels "Dearly Devoted Dexter". In the early chapters at least, it's almost like a novelisation, but I know the books are a bit different and the TV series stopped following the novels after the first season/book.

"What's there to smile about?" Malcolm McDowell's character asks, towards the end of O Lucky Man! I like that. Don't have an answer for him. Except Paris, of course. But she wasn't around back when that film was made, so it's no wonder poor Malcolm has to ask the question (that and him always getting arrested and attacked by old tramps 'n' stuff).

The cause of Intellectualism gains a donation for every person who reads this post :P I don't like Intellectualism much though - too elitist. So feel free to deny them donations, ha ha! Oops, too late!

Today I'm taking a sick day. I have what is either a chest infection or a bad case of hayfever (symptoms can sometimes be similar). Whatever it is I'm suffering the tortures of the damned (tickly coughs, wheezing chest not helped by asthma, throat filling up with spittle or foam and that yucky catarrh taste) and Lemsip All-In-One doesn't seem to be impeding it's progress in anyway. Phoned for a doctor's appointment yesterday but the earliest is Thursday at 4.00 pm.

In other news.... Me and me mate Shareen caught my mad sister The Debster singing along to Eric Carmen (not even Eric Cartmen!) in her wardrobe mirror yesterday, lol! That is well shameful! She'll deny it of course but here's some partial evidence:



This is of course an act of revenge. It's bad enough that my crazy sister has the daft idea that I'm a serial killer (I suspect she's even told Paris to stay away from me and not to call me anymore *GAH*) but now she's even told some guy at her work called Doakes, who's taken to tailing me around wherever I go. Very annoying! Especially when I... er... wanna go and grab a sandwich or something.

RIP special effects whiz Stan Winston :(

In brighter news.... At: http://www.parishiltonsite.net/fightin-over-me-music-video/ there's a wonderful collection of Paris videos. A quick silent photo collection, a two minute promo clip for Fightin' Over Me, an quick interview with Paris from the time of her album release and a video of her singing along to her song Screwed at some club and talking a bit to the announcer and the audience. Perfect way to start the day. Be still my heart.

Troy: The Director's Cut - There's at least one extra scene but mostly it's extensions to existing scenes with extra tolchocking of malchicks and unfortunate devotchkas in the fighting scenes. There's also an alternate version of the early scenes between "Paris" (huh!) and Helen, which is far more revealing of Diane Kruger than the theatrical version. The extensions aren't essential but I love this movie anyway and always like to have the longest cuts of historical epics. Just wish they'd let Paris play herself though. Don't get me wrong, I've nothing against Orlando Bloom and have enjoyed plenty of movies that feature his contributions. It's just... the bastard or bastard-ess of a casting director deprived me of scenes with the real Paris making out with Diane Kruger and I can't help thinking of what might have been (and Paris could have bragged about beating Brad Pitt in a fight afterwards *g*) :(

Anyway, I'll be trying to keep myself fairly sedate until Thursday. Just hope that Debster doesn't play her flamin' Eric Carmen loud!

Sorry I haven't really been spending much time online and haven't really been keeping up with people or interacting with them. At least I acknowledge the fact and apologise, unlike many others who just assume they are the centre of the universe and they don't have to bother with anyone else. Therefore I know I can't expect anything more of anyone else with regards to me - I've just not had the same time or enthusiasm for being online.

A few funny things happened at the Scottish Training Foundation this week. First off, some guy wandered in looking for someone and he was a complete dead ringer for the "who dear, me dear, gay dear, no dear!" character from The Catherine Tate Show (which coincidentally I've been watching again this week). Second, you can borrow their mobile phone to chase up job leads and keep a job log to show the jobcentre what you're doing to find work. So one of the guys saw an advertisement for male escorts in The Sun and decided to phone it up and was encouraged to put it in his job log. Apparently a lot of business women get dates this way and it pays 150 pounds per hour (and sex costs extra), so not bad work if you're up for it. There is some payment you've got to make of nearly 200 pounds to register though which sounds a bit like a take the money and run play on their part (where you'll probably never hear from them again afterwards). Lastly, one of the men who was finishing up his time this week, got a joke letter (supposedly from the jobcentre), telling him that because he hadn't had a placement in all that time he was being forced to do another 11 weeks. Hook, line and sinker! I was there when it was pulled on him and he was taking it very seriously with the guy in charge of us pretending to arrange an appointment to see the jobcentre about it. Alas I wasn't there when he got told at the last minute that it was a wind up (arranged by his friends the day before, also while I was there).

Less amusing for me was my interview with a contact centre yesterday. I got two afternoons off from STF so I can't complain there (once to see my advisor for a travel warrant, the other to use the voucher I got for interview clothes from Burtons). But it was lucky I left early for the interview in Paisley (place of my birth) as it took me an hour or more of wandering in circles to find the building (and even knowing now where it is, it's not my idea of pedestrian friendly - a real bitch to get to). Won't know the outcome of the interview until next week but I know I wouldn't enjoy being one of those annoying nuisances who phone up people to sell them something, the travelling and the office clothes for most of the week (Fridays and Saturdays allow casual dress) and I know I'd prefer part time hours to 30 hours or more a week (what's the point of money if you have little to no spare time to enjoy it?). Visited a few pubs in Paisley including The Anchor which I remembered going to with my uncle on a visit to Paisley in the mid 1990s. I fancied the barmaid at the time but she's probably moved on by now (thankfully as most of you know how these things turn out for me - I'm much better off only having eyes for Paris). It's changed a lot since the old days anyway.

Saw another early Paris role in the movie The Hillz this week. It's marginally more entertaining than the horror movie Nine Lives. But on the minus side it's still a pretty shoddy TV movie type production with nothing to write home about in the writing or acting stakes. Paris only has the occassional couple of minutes here and there throughout the film (at least in Nine Lives all her scenes were in the first twenty minutes making for a quick viewing when I want to see the scenes again), which means there will be a lot of fast forwarding going on when I want to see Paris's scenes again. Also, the scene where her asshole boyfriend in the movie grabs Paris by the face and hits her, makes me want to jump in the TV and rip the bastard limb from limb (I'm guessing this DVD won't be enjoying a second life as an anger management tool then *g*). Someone else in the movie gets him killed for it but they don't even bother to torture or dismember him first!

( Fun Stuff Behind Cut )

Second week under my belt at the Scottish Training Foundation. This was the first week with the stricter hours of course, but the improved service from Stagecoach buses means I'm not getting home too late. The Gestapo Managaress of the place started stopping us from getting into the building before 9.00 all of a sudden during the week! Grrr! A lot of us were left waiting outside two mornings in a row and even some of the people working there think it's unfair (but apparently she is the highest authority that can be complained to). For some of us, the next bus we could go for would get us in nearly an hour late, but chances are that she wouldn't like that and it would be our fault and affect our money. I was supposed to be put down for an office placement, but the people there don't think I have any chance at all of getting a job in an office as they're supposedly much harder to get now (doesn't stop me applying though) so I'm going to have to look at less desirable placements. A contact centre was supposed to call me back for a phone interview on Thursday. It's now Sunday with still no call back - why can't more people be like Queen Bitch and not make false claims? Whatever!

Not much went on during the second week of "induction" anyway. Just the one to one interview and a few puzzles and hand out sheets. Spent most of it reading, chatting or helping to answer crossword and quiz questions. Pretty engrossed reading James Ellroy's L.A. Confidential so far. Also quite a ways through Jean Stein's Edie: A Biography which is now well in swing onto the Warhol years. LOL, I can't read about Warhol, the Factory and all that without hearing Waiting For The Man in my head and having all the familiar images and associations from various books, films and documentaries (making me wish I was there or could feel free and artistic again instead of where I am).

Saw three versions of Sweeney Todd over the last week. The one on TV with Ray Winstone, the new Tim Burton musical on DVD and via Och Ya Tube the Tod Slaughter version. They're all good and worthwhile viewing in their own way.

Also saw Nine Lives which was my Paris's horror movie debut. It's by far the inferior of Paris's horror movies (or movies I've seen her in, in general). The plot and setting/set up reminds me of so many other movies (The Shining for isolation, The Haunting for the banging on the doors, The Evil Dead for the reading of a book having dire consequences, Dementia 13/various Mario Bava movies, British horror like The Company Of Wolves and Hellraiser, body jump movies like The Hidden and Shocker) and in just about every case the other movies would make far better viewing (even the dreadful remake of The Haunting!). The film just lacks any real atmosphere, tightness or pacing and the characters and situation lack the presence of involvement. Thankfully Paris is only in the first twenty minutes (one of her early roles) which means that I can easily get a quick Paris fix without bothering to watch or fast forward through the whole movie on subsequent viewings (a quick movie then and more Paris is always a good thing). Apart from it being an early Paris role, I really can't see any other reason at all for this undistinguished horror movie to have any kind of shelf life or interest to any viewers - glad she's been getting better movies since then.

Also been watching Doctor Who series three again. Gridlock improved on second viewing and the Daleks in Manhattan two parter was at least tolerable for the most part but 42 just felt so dull on second viewing that I had trouble getting through the whole episode. Needless to say: Shareen likes that one! *headdesk*

Inspired by a friend on LJ who sometimes posts a guide to all the family and friends she mentions on her journal for newcomers, I've compiled a similarily guide to all the extended family members I'm likely to mention in my journal. So now there's no need to be confused:

Shareen - She's been me mate for years and years. Fancies David Tennant, wants him to check her pulse and keeps going on about something called 'Amlet! She also thinks that she makes better icons than me - daft bint!

Debs - My sister. She thinks I'm a serial killer (I mean why else would anyone have books about Jack The Ripper, Charles Manson and Mary Bell or know who Jessica Fletcher is? *rolleyes*). I usually just call her "The Ice Princess" though and tell her that I couldn't possibly be a serial killer because she hasn't dated me *hee hee* Also she dresses like a hooker sometimes.

Evil Sister Jessica (tm) - My evil sister who lives in the mirror and tells me to do bad things. Because I'm such a pushover I always do as she commands.

Jessy Pants - Local icon dealer who got me hooked on Paris icons.

Paris - Says she doesn't want to marry me and that she loves someone else... But exactly what part of all that sounds even remotely believable?

Evil Sister Nicky - Paris's evil sister who lives in the mirror and tells her not to marry me and to spend more time with Benji instead (well someone has to get the blame). Possibly.

Stretch Monster - He has glue for blood! Ewww!( Read more... )

So now you know. Can I help it if I have a big family or am massively popular :P

CDs that once I start to listen to them outside, I often find impossible to turn off (even if it means several more hours in the pub than intended):

The Harder They Come - soundtrack
Paris Hilton - Paris
Blondie - Plastic Letters
Blondie - Blondie
Bauhaus - Crackle
Rachel Stamp - Oceans Of Venus
Garbage - Garbage
Sisters Of Mercy - A Slight Case Of Overbombing
The Ruts - Something That I Said: The Best Of
The Bangles - The Best Of
X - Los Angeles
Nuggets - various artists

The Good

Big news of yesterday was that the legendary Tura Satana made a nice comment in my very own MySpace :D I'm humbled that the iconic star of the brilliant Faster Pussycat Kill! Kill! actually took time to reply to me. A pleasant and completely unexpected surprise. I kinda wish that Roberta Collins had a MySpace too.

The Good

Started watching Dexter season two online yesterday (since with the early morning rises, even if ITV shows it soon I wouldn't be able to stay up for it anyway). Watched the first four episodes so far. ( Read more... )

The Ugly

http://www.parentdish.com/2008/05/27/students-vote-autistic-5-year-old-out-of-class/

Can you frakin' believe it? A five year old kid with Autism? And the teacher is just throwing in the towel as if she's tried everything and has to use extreme measures? Sounds like this woman shouldn't be a teacher at all! There have been plenty of troublesome kids over the years but how many are kicked out of class at just five years old without some attempts to address or understand the problem? And to humiliate him like that in front of everyone and encourage his fellow classmates to turn bully for the day *shakes head* *vomits*

Of course I've had my share of idiot teachers and the like myself. Like the primary two teacher in Eaglesham, who didn't mind me being constantly picked on but gave me into trouble for supposedly being the troublemaker and never listened to my mother when she told her I was the one being attacked and was only defending myself. Or the time the same idiot sent me to the primary one class for the day just because I shouted out "not here" a few times while she was going over the morning register (even back then I knew that I would have stopped if she'd bothered to ask or explained why it was wrong). LOL, and who could forget the young girl Gail who was giving us a Communications class when we were doing the European Computer Driving Licence at James Watt College? She was probably the youngest person in the room and was apparently used to dealing with eighteen year old boys going into construction, rather than a mixed group of adults. So she just decides to not bother showing up for the last couple of classes without any explanation.

Never watched the Terminator TV series from last year beyond the unaired version of the pilot (not because I didn't like the pilot - I just wasn't sufficiently motivated at the time to start catching up with the other episodes). If the rumours of Shirley Manson joining the cast in season two are true however, I'll definitely have to start watching the next season.

Battlestar Galactica was interesting this week. ( Read more... )

It was nice to get a good night's sleep and not have to get up early this morning. We had such a larf last night. First my mate Jessy came round because she'd made me some new Paris icons and kept talking about a modern noir comedy called Kiss Kiss Bang Bang that she thinks I'd like.

Then me mate Shareen came round later and we watched that docudrama on BBC2 with Julie Walters playing that mad cow Mary Whitehouse. We had such a laugh at that infuriating woman's constant attempts to force her views and ideas about society onto other people and her preposterous claims to speak for "the people". She even started abusing innocent hippies, calling them "an abomination" at one point. The writer of the play she was criticising was spot on in calling her a "true fascist", especially when she was unwilling to let him even explain his intentions. The only time I felt any sympathy was when some programme made light of the tragedy that her husband was suffering from at one point - that should have been off limits. I hated the scene of her and her cronies celebrating poor Hugh Green's departure from the BBC (needless to say I was on his side all the way). I loved the bit when she expected other panellists on a show to agree with her but they all started jumping on her about how they disagreed with her and her disregard of free speech - the look on her face was priceless (the docudrama definitely suggested that she loved the spotlight). Some people defend her crackpot prudery by saying that she was acting on her deeply held religious views but in my opinion too many of these religious nutters use the "I'm allowed to be a moron because of my religion" card. She was a daft judgemental intolerant cow who was happy to force her ideas onto everyone else but resented anyone else having a say or the chance to do the same. "Good riddance to bad rubbish" as John Lydon might say.

"And the oppresors are trying to keep me down
Trying to drive me underground
And they think they have got the battle won
I say forgive them Paris, they know not what they've done"

So, this has been my first week back at the hell of the Scottish Training Foundation and so far it's been relatively painless. It seems to be a good bunch of people I'm being inducted with and the guy who is in charge of us is far different to the kind of STF staff I'm normally used to. He's pretty reasonable and straight up about things, despite his hands being tied in certain matters. First two days have been pretty short and we get tomorrow off because everything is being moved to the newly taken over and renovated building in Ardrossan. Apparently Friday will be pretty short too, but then next week the real hard slog will start with strict adherence to times of 9.00 to at least 3.30 every day (two ten minute breaks and just half an hour for lunch a day and no point in being a passive smoker because there's no smoke breaks). Considering the number of units and people that will be converging into one building I hope we don't end up like sardines or that we have to be around young neds all the time.

Tuesday, I decided while in Irvine to visit the Crown before going home. I had three pints there and got pleasantly tipsy. SHE was there (complete with the dulcet tones of Foghorn Leghorn) but she let the nicer barmaids do most of the serving and we never had to interact or directly look at each other.

Today we had "fun and games" in the form of a couple of trivia quizzes to work through. Some of the questions were on my fields of expertise. One was who Eric Arthur Blair was better known as (George Orwell), another was before the French Revolution who the quote "let them eat cake" was atrributed to (falsely most famously attributed to Marie Antoinette but previously applied to others). Another was about the name of the Doctor's time machine. Not only did I know the easy answer of TARDIS but I wrote down and answered when enquired what it stood for, which earned me being called a geek and wrongly labelled as a "Trekkie", lol! Good job I didn't also add knowing who gave it it's name (or the similar origin of the name Liberator in Blake's 7). I didn't volunteer out loud the additional information about the Marie Antoinette answer though, as I didn't feel like giving a history lesson about the repetitive tactics of pampleteers.

We got let away about half ten today, so I got the bus back home with one of the other guys who stays close by (and likes playing strategy games all day on the computer). I had started acquiring the latest episode of Battlestar Galactica (how stupid of the US Sci Fi Channel to let the UK's Sky One get this episode before America - not the best way to get ratings on the day), so this allowed me to get home early and finish the job. Called me mate Shareen to come over but she said no because of the heavy rain, grrr! LOL, me mate Shareen has managed to lose another one of her shop jobs in Saltcoats and is looking to get something in Glasgow now. At least she manages to avoid getting stuck on unemployment courses and the like, but what will she do when she's been fired too many times by every suitable employer within travelling distance? After watching BSG I went to sleep for about at least three hours (and I know the tiredness of early rises and the impossibility of ever getting eight hours sleep the night beforehand will just make me progressively tireder as each week goes on).

I now have The Simple Life 5 on DVD, but unfortunately I'll have to buy season 4 again because the second disc refuses to play at all. LOL, despite knowing that Paris would be rescued, I still couldn't help worrying about her when she became lost in the woods - I'd appreciate it if she stops scaring me like that in future. I could be doing with a new personal CD player too, as the one I have keeps deciding not to play just about every other CD I try on it, but none of the ones I've looked at in Argos catalogues and the like seem to have a remote control (and I don't want to have to fiddle about with it in my bag unlocking it when I'm walking, getting on a bus, paying for something or when someone starts talking to me). I overheard someone joking about being psychic yesterday - resisted the urge to challenge them as to what I was thinking about that very moment, hee hee hee (and no that answer really does ever change)!

In other news, Lily Allen looks good in a bikini in the French Riviera and Tura Satana in Faster Pussycat costume looks far better than she should at 69.

Lalala!

I saw Maxim's so called "Hot 100" ("the ultimate list of the world's most beautiful women") posted on a forum today. Lists like this always tend to be at odds with my own tastes and make it clear to me why I'm not one of their readers and am obviously not in their target market. Out of the 100 listed, the ones I'd rate highly are:

Olivia Wilde
Ali Larter
Rebecca Romijn
Kristen Bell
Jennifer Garner
Eliza Dushku
Avril Lavigne
Mischa Barton
Hayden Panetierre
Elisha Cuthbert
Sarah Michelle Gellar
Jessica Biel

I know that despite doing well up to about 2005/2006, Paris tends to get screwed over by such magazines, so no suprise there (and a reason to boycott such a useless magazine if ever there was one). Milla Jovovich also tends to get criminally ignored (as in this case) or relegated to the 90s and it's not the first time that Naomi Watts has been ignored. But where are Angelina Jolie or Gwen Stefani, who usually feature somewhere on the list? I really don't understand these stupid lists and their fickle moods!

Anyway, the definitive Top 20 of the most beautiful women in the world at the moment, would obviously go more like this:

20. Jennifer Garner
19. Mia Kirshner
18. Keira Knightley
17. Eliza Dushku
16. Sarah Michelle Gellar
15. Eva Green
14. Elisha Cuthbert
13. Shannon Lucio
12. Mischa Barton
11. Lucy Pinder
10. Maggie Grace
9. Diane Kruger
8. Keeley Hazell
7. Angelina Jolie
6. Gwen Stefani
5. Shirley Manson
4. Rebecca Romijn
3. Naomi Watts
2. Milla Jovovich
1. Paris Hilton

Although I'll still be posting the occassional supportive comment at my favourite Paris Hilton site and still use it's offshoot forum, I really can't be bothered reading the other comments or responding to them. Some of the regulars annoy me with their small mindedness and judgemental natures. One regular called Angelina Jolie a "freak" for being bisexual(!) and seems to think that the bulk of Paris haters are poor people (an insult to me as my family was always pretty poor when I was growing up and I'm longterm unemployed). Another regular repeatedly calls Paris "immature" for the great crime of being happy to talk about her relationship and how happy it makes her. Apparently when you're in a relationship, you're meant to be a body snatched pod person - completely private, reserved and not showing any affection, signs of happiness, etc. When I point out from my own experience that I've known older people than Paris (including longterm relationships and married couples) who can happily talk about their feelings for their partner, the fact that older people "act silly" is denied. The same regular even thinks that Paris's parents should intervene (despite the fact that they personally approve of Paris's relationship and seem to hear wedding bells on that score themselves). WTF? So now talking happily about a relationship is on the same list of crazy Betty Ford Clinic worthy behaviour as joining crazy cults or severe drug/alcohol addiction? And supposedly just because some of us give Benji the benefit of the doubt of possibly being a decent guy who really does make Paris happy and we don't have a default position of assuming he's automatically a moneygrabber or only out for publicity, we're supposedly giving him a "sainthood" *headdesk* I don't know what kind of pills this chick is on, but her constant criticism of how Paris leads her life (and by extension probably everyone that doesn't subscribe to this person's rules to live by) used up the last of my patience and reasoning skills.

On Tuesday, I start a thirteen week incarceration with the Scottish Training Foundation's work experience course. This has me feeling depressed and horrified. I did six months with them previously on 2003/4. And I can still remember the minute to minute monotony of being stuck in room five days a week, about seven hours a day, doing jobsearches, looking through newspapers and writing the occassional letter or filling out a job application and then just sitting there for hours, waiting for whoever is in charge to let you away (and if it was left up to one guy in particular, he would enjoy dragging it out as long as he could before throwing us a bone). Last time there wasn't even enough chairs to keep up with the influx of new prisoners and there were only about three computers for twenty or more people (and of course they took all the fun out of the internet by putting a lock on most of it). Then somewhere along the thirteen weeks, they'll probably find a work placement for me, which means slaving away somewhere for my benefit, getting the shit jobs that the paid employees can't be bothered with (my worst experience of my two work placements last time was B & Q where I got shackled to a right obnoxious bullying cunt who insisted on giving me all the heavy lifting duties and needed the manager to tell him to get me inside when it was heavily raining outside). New Deal is supposed to help give a boost to your jobsearch, but I can't think of anything more dispiriting than this kind of enforced monotony and servitude. There are times when I really miss George Orwell and his eye for beauracratic injustice. Like other things in life, it serves to remind me that nothing is ever going to get better in life and there's nothing worth pursuing that I could actually achieve that would actually make life worth living (instead of merely enduring).

Favourite songs today:

Kiss - Strutter
Kiss - Firehouse
Kiss - Cold Gin
Bad Manners - Special Brew
Tony Tribe - Red Red Wine
Blondie - Fan Mail
No Doubt - Big City Train

Well consider me flabbergasted! A poster at the Doctor Who Forum (who incidentally thinks that time should be called on the show and the production staff because he doesn't like it anymore):

"Since Darwin published his barrage of lies you mean? Which no-one can prove because they're lies. Christianity has declined in countries like England because of mass immigration, permissive society, removal of discipline at schools and.... well I think you get the picture."

Followed by:

"Evolution doesn't make sense. A monkey turning into a man. Utter rubbish. Excuse me while I go outside my Cat appears to be becoming humanoid."

Apart from being struck dumb by this, I also can't help thinking that this man's defence of religion is the most devestating weapon ever leveled against it *guffaw* I'm also amused that his inaccurate reading of evolution being "a monkey turning into a man" is any less ridiculous than the kind of thing he'd be asking anyone to believe.

Comments disabled because I'm really not interested in hearing anyone's "religion is wonderful" crap! Take it to the gullible.